Why in heaven’s name am I writing about a heckuva big church meeting?
Well, because one of the main reasons I chose to focus my mystery series around the life of a lesbian Episcopal priest stems from my witnessing of the LGBT community’s struggles for full inclusion in the Episcopal Church. I’m not a particularly churchy person, though I believe I am a faithful one. However, I have several close friends who are churchy–who, in fact, are priests. And gay. And while I have not cared much about what churches officially think of me in decades (because I long ago gave them up as hubs for judgmental hazing), my friends do care. So I started paying attention.
Six years ago, I visited the convention just as Gene Robinson’s election as Bishop of New Hampshire was confirmed. Many of you know Gene is the first openly gay person to reach that office and his selection as bishop kicked off a firestorm of anti-gay sentiment around the globe. But on the evening in which he celebrated his first Eucharist as the newly confirmed Bishop-Elect, I stood in the crowd and wept. My emotions stunned me. I didn’t think I cared. I’m still not particularly churchy, but it is an amazing thing to walk into a place that has always “hated” you and realize here, now, you are not hated. I think that was the first time in my life I stood inside a mainline Christian church that had accepted me and others like me, without any “love the sinner, hate the sin” caveats.
Three years ago I witnessed the election of Katharine Jefferts Schori as Presiding Bishop, the first female “primate” of the Anglican Communion. It kicked off a firestorm of anger around the globe. I was also present as the governing bodies debated–often in horrific hate-filled terms–the full inclusion of baptized LGBT folks in the sacraments of the church. That was the first time I’d ever been in a room with that level of hate (I guess I can count myself lucky that until then I’d only seen it on TV.) In my opinion, there was little of the Good News of the Gospel evident in what transpired for LGBT folks as the delegates adopted a moratorium on giving full inclusion to the LGBT community. We wept again, only this time in sadness at the victory of hate and fear and sin. Change had seemed so possible; hope made the continued discrimination even more horrible to bear.
It was after this experience that I decided to write about a priest wrestling with these issues in her own life, trying so very very hard to be a person of faith holding to a religion which she just knows grows from something other than the narrowness that defines it for so many. I actually dreamt about Lonnie Squires and the folks of Middelburg. They came swirling whole out of the mists of my own life-long querulous relationship with the church. I’d like to be contented with religion some day. I’d like for it to be contented with me. But maybe that’s not how dynamic spirituality works. I don’t know. That’s why I explore it through Lonnie’s investigations of mysteries.
So, I look forward to this next triennial convention with no expectations for a good or a bad outcome for the LGBT faithful. I only know that heroes will step forward again, working to change the world. That hate and love will clash, both in the name of Christ. That hearts will be wrung out and broken no matter what happens. Everyone cannot be kept happy. So what “good” will those in power choose? What will the nature of the “loss” be? Will some be kept out so that others will continue to come? Or will all be invited, perhaps moving others to choose to leave?
To me, these are easy questions and the path that should be chosen is clear. I’d be a lousy politician in a situation like this convention. But that’s why I’m a novelist and others, thank God, are doing the hard work of transforming hearts and minds right there in the Anaheim Convention Center. I’m not going this year, by the way. I don’t think I could take it if things go badly. I can’t stand watching my friends’ hearts broken again in the name of Christ. Those who are there are so very much braver than I!
In my next post, I’ll list some websites of interest in case you want to keep up on all of this with me.
